Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
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PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
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Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.