The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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