I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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