im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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