The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Randomize
