Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Randomize
