am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Randomize