oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
