better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize