I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
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