Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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