Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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