so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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