So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
tell me about the fingering
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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