Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
He did a backflip because drugs
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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