i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Randomize
