sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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