this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Randomize
