So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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