The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Randomize
