i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
