Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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