in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
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