Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
sex in a hospital.. check
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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