Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
