Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
