walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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