Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
He passed out mid-signature
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Randomize
