I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
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