don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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