So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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