In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
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