all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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