im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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