dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
