sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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