I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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