No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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