It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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