4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
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