i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
