Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Randomize
