Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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