i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
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