Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
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