Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Randomize
