Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
