Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
