This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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