One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
