I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
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