Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires