Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
did i just pee glitter