the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
These 27 Hilarious People Wrote Their Own Obituaries
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
23 Men Confess What Gifts Would Brighten Their Day
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?