Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
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