honey bunches of taint.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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