Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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