do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
