just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
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